They say the only constant in life is change. And adapting to change is still a skill I work on.
I left my hospital job in August, and have been focusing on my studies ever since. Part of me really regrets having to leave. I loved what I did. I took pride in the uniform I wore, and the care I provided. I didn’t want any skills I had gained to be lost from lack of practice. I also didn’t want to leave my team behind. I felt like I was abandoning them on some level.
Night shift is a quirky bird. I loved it. There is a comradery of sorts. You walk through hell and back together when the proverbial shit hits the fan, and you know you can rely on your team mates during those dark hours. Management isn’t around, which again, is a blessing and a curse, but I believe it brings the night shift team that much closer. You have to know each other’s skill set, and, at least on the floor where I worked, you used all of those skills to give all the patients on the floor the best possible care. Often, the night shift nurses go unrecognized, by management and by patients and families, but they are always there, through the week hours of the night and into the morning, sacrificing their own health and relationships to nurture those of our patients.
So I miss that.
But I also feel called for something else. And so here I sit, a pile of books beside me, typing at my blog when I really need to finish that cardio unit in pathophys.
Things have changed since the beginning of this, my first semester as a grad student. I’m calmer. I have a better handle of the expectations of my professors. And I’m holding my own, grade wise. I’m sure each new semester will bring its own challenges, more changes, and an initial sense of panic as I sort through it all, over and over again. But I feel ready.
My health is much better. I’ve cleaned up my eating even more, eliminating all sources of sugar, all grains, all legumes, and I’m on a low carbohydrate, whole food oriented eating plan. It’s doing wonders for me. I began my new eating plan the day after I came home from my last night shift at the beginning of August, and have so far dropped all twenty pounds that I gained from being on night shift. Inflammation has also improved tremendously. I rarely need to take anything for pain, and my cycle is finally starting to normalize again. Granted, I still have quite a bit more I’d like to lose, but I have faith it will come with time, patience and effort.
And so, here’s to change. I lift my glass to you…