Latest LLMD Appt and my Future as an RN

hospital sign

Woke up at about 3:30 this morning with a nasty headache. I’m guessing I should not have stopped my birth control pill (being taken as an attempt to moderate my progesterone levels) so abruptly. Hopefully, I can start on a new pack (and different brand) soon which will even things out again. So, there is an end in sight.

I saw my LLMD yesterday afternoon. Not because I was having symptoms that needed attention, but because my insurance is about to change, and I wanted to get in a visit before my copay more than quadruples. As it turns out, she’s not convinced the antibiotic treatment is benefitting me at this point, so she wants me to discontinue those meds. I can remain on my herbals though, and she gave me a script to keep on hand in case things go south fast, but for a different medication, and I need to look back into my notes to remember the benefit of pulsing that particular med.

We also did some blood work. She hasn’t taken an MSH level in over a year, so it’s time to update that, and see if it’s gotten any better. I still need to educate myself on the implications of MSH and how it applies to my case. I know it can measure immune function, but beyond that I’m clueless. More reading. More researching. Because nursing school doesn’t have me reading enough!

I’m pretty sure (and another LLMD that I see occasionally agrees) the Lyme and co-infections screwed with a few of my endocrine glands, and getting them up and running properly is my next goal. The thyroid meds have definitely had an impact of many of my previous hypothyroid symptoms, like intolerance to cold, fatigue, dry skin, etc. But I remain overweight, and it’s clear that other hormones are at play (like my female hormones) and that the chronic inflammation that has continued for so long has also been a factor.

We also talked about my future as a nurse. Graduation is next May, and I’ll need to get some acute care experience before I can be considered for a Master’s Degree Program, earn my FNP, and settle into a practice aimed at helping others not just with Lyme, but with other chronic illness that doesn’t respond to cookie cutter medicine. (This has been my entire goal from the start.) I think this is partly why I’m so jazzed about nursing. It’s so patient oriented. It’s drilled into us from the first semester: patient advocacy. And that is my drive. Patient focused care. Individualized care. But she knows as well as I do, if I remain stagnated at this level, it may be tricky finding a particular area of nursing that leaves me capable of working within my physical limitations.

But then, what if I make a full recovery by then? Dare I dream that big?


4 thoughts on “Latest LLMD Appt and my Future as an RN

  1. I look forward to the day you open your practice. I hope that my own issues will be settled by then, but if not, count on me showing up for all the tests!! I think that you are amazing and such an inspiration, you keep going in the face of all the things, and that is so hard to do! Even just showing up sometimes can be hard, and you are doing it!! You are doing all the things, and raising a child at the same time, simply amazing! I can barely find it in me to empty the dishwasher sometimes… You will find a way, you were meant to have this career, to be a force for change, and to help people. I see it in you. I look forward to someday dancing with you again, because your beautiful smile and happy glow when moving are something I treasure. This has been a long trek through to find the causes for your obstacles and to find the ways to overcome them… And you did it, and you keep doing it, and fuck yeah! Opa!!!!

    1. Thank you so much for the beautiful words, Jen. They mean so much more than you will ever know. And should that day come, where I see you in my practice, know that I will do everything in my power to help, but more importantly, that someone is listening, and believing, and advocating for you. ❤

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