I just needed a break.

I just couldn’t stomach another day of nausea. Literally. I was up at 4am this morning, and it began with a sense of a big rock sitting in my belly. Try as I might to roll over and ignore it, the pain grew, and rather than toss and turn and deprive my husband a full night’s rest, I got up and went to the couch.

I turned on the TV, and rocked quietly back and forth, my face distorted in a grimace that only relaxed when my kitty came over for a little early morning lovin’. In an effort to ease the pain, I took a small espresso cup, filled it half way with water, and added a teaspoon or two of apple cider vinegar.

It made things worse.

Maybe you’re not surprised, but I was. I had treated similar feelings in my belly like this before with decent success, but today, for some reason, it only exacerbated my pain.

I decided right then that I was not taking any pills today. Nothing. Not one antibiotic, not one anti-parasitic, not one herbal or vitamin. Instead, after the sun finally rose, I nibbled on some unsweetened applesauce. That helped. A few hours later, a banana made it down, and stayed down. Granted it took an entire hour to consume said banana, but hey, I wasn’t going to complain. Around lunch I managed to get a slice of (gluten free) bread in me, and a cup of chamomile tea.

And then eventually dinner rolled around, and my XXL pill (X2) containers were staring at me. But I just turned my back. I wanted one day without nausea. I wanted one meal to go down smooth, and not combined with a handful of pills every time I took a swig of my drink. Just one meal, the way it used to be.

I know it’s important to take my pills. They have helped bring me from a place of complete debilitation to some decent functionality. And I am truly grateful. But this month’s regimen has really felt like a kick into my stomach. And while I’m usually very good about taking all my medicine, even I have my limits.

My next appointment with my LLMD is a week and a half away. I’m hoping that the regimen will change, but until then, I’ll be back on my meds, starting tomorrow morning. Scout’s honor.


2 thoughts on “I just needed a break.

  1. I had a night when my body screamed at me. Just like you, I took the next day off and ate almost exactly what you did. 8)
    I did make some changes to my diet and my supplements. By that standard I am less healthy, but my stomach feels better. Good luck!

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